Welcome To The Freshness.

The Freshness is a new lifestyle concept devised, patented and co-ordinated by Miceál O' Callaghan and Ciarán Cronin, directors of the highly regarded investment company Calcro. We believe that this groundbreaking new approach to what was previously seen as a social problem will revolutionise not only the drinks industry but also society in general.

What is it, you ask?
For millennia, alcoholism has been portrayed in a negative light. The glory of Dionysus has been ravaged by the mediocre and temperate, the staid, the abstemious and the teetotal, who spout trite moral platitudes and advocate hideous restraint. THIS IS NOT RIGHT. The Freshness is a campaign to restore alcohol to its rightful place at the centre of everyday existence and all human social interaction. Not only do we disavow the negative connotations of alcoholism, we entirely reject the use of the word in the pejorative sense. The Freshness is an intemperance movement.

How does it work?
We fight fire with fire. For every penny spent by the anti-fun movement spreading their ugly, fraudulent propaganda, we will spend a penny and a bit more again disseminating informed, truthful and reasonable literature designed to illustrate the manifold benefits of alcoholism.

Why are you doing this?
Sometimes someone just has to stand up and speak out. For too long now, excessive drinking and drunkenness have been frowned upon by the self-appointed "guardians of moral decency." These people, who are fascists, have no place in a civilised society.

Where do ye stand on Physical Force Alcoholism?
The Freshness will initially be rolled out publicly as a reasonable, caring lifestyle concept that should be followed by all right-thinking people. However, we are prepared to utilise physical force alcoholism if it be needed. If the anti-fun brigade are unwilling to accept The Freshness as the enlightened choice of the sane, a bombing campaign will commence.

Bombing campaign, oh, that sounds dangerous.
Not at all, my dear man. The bombing campaign will only target Protestant churches, cafés and the Pioneer Association of Ireland, the three cultural garrisons of the anti-fun movement.

Oh, okay, that is reasonable, but how do I get involved?
The answer is simple. Get Up, Get Out, Get Drunk. And most importantly, enjoy yourself, our time on planet Earth is fleeting.